


I Figured Your Body Felt Like Chocolate

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [22]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Bakery and Coffee Shop, British Comedy, Chocolate, Comedy, Comedy RPF, Fainting, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Humorous Ending, M/M, Money, Restaurants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26191858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: The tight-fisted entrepreneur Boo Seungkwan has trouble with fainting, especially when he gets big shocks: like girls wolf-whistling at him in the street and old ladies asking for refunds.Luckily, best mates Vernon, Seokmin and Soonyoung are always on hand - or work lunch breaks - to come to the rescue
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Boo Seungkwan/Lee Seokmin | DK
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Kudos: 5





	I Figured Your Body Felt Like Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> I love Chocolate *laughing* and I was listening to the 1975 when I wrote this and I'm all jolly because lots of very sweet people have been putting in very beautiful comments about my work and I'm so high I'm up with the moon and the stars (as ever)
> 
> Big kiss for all of you :))))) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, love you

Seungkwan had a slight problem with fainting when he had massive shocks.

Like Wednesday morning for example.

Seungkwan ran the remains of his Uncle's restaurant and corner shop in the sea-side city of Dae-gu, and, well, lots of things happened to the degree that not very much happened to him.

He was nearly always discovered unconcious by one of his customers, a passer-by, or, three good mates of his, Vernon, Seokmin, and Soonyoung.

Now, back to Wednesday.

Vernon, Seokmin and Soonyoung had come on their different lunch breaks around to Seungkwan's midegt-sized empire because of one collossal reason.

The Boo's were having a sale.

The Boo's were the most financially miserable bastards ON THE PLANET.

There is no way there were having a sale.

Until Vernon, Seokmin and Soonyoung saw the white-wash script in the shop window of Seungkwan's business. Their mouths had dropped open.

"Oh, the poor thing, he's lost the brain he's never had." Seokmin pointed to the white-wash script. "His hand was shaking as he wrote it."

They all went inside, and, found Seungkwan absolutely out of it in the centre of the shop hallway floor. It was Vernon who got Seungkwan to his apartment home above his shop and restaurant and got him onto the couch. Seungkwan had come around then. He had coughed and spluttered about two tradies down in the shop, and, Vernon managed to calm them down, saying that Seokmin and Soonyoung were getting them their beers and sandwhiches and crisps. 

"What's wrong with Seungkwan?" Seokmin and Soonyoung asked Vernon a couple of minutes later. Vernon had caught the two tradies on their way out just to double-check what Seungkwan reckoned happened. Vernon couldn't believe it. He turned around to look at Seokmin and Soonyoung, the bell over the shop doorway tinkling as it was close. Vernon leant against it. 

"Two girls whistled at him in the street and he's still recovering from the shock according to him and the two tradies that just left." Vernon jutted a thumb behind him.

Soonyoung and Seokmin's mouths dropped open.

"Jesus Christ, get some grog into him." Soonyoung and Seokmin decided bluntly, looking at each other in horror before racing upstairs.

Then, a month later, it had been a Friday. Lunchtime as well.

They found Seungkwan behind the shop counter and had taken him upstairs.

Vernon eventually landed the top score; he unwrapped a bar of Cadbury fruit'n'nut and waved it gently under Seungkwan's nose. 

"No way." They're mouths dropped open to see that it actually brought Seungkwan around.

"You prick." Seungkwan frowned up at Vernon as Vernon broke off a bit of the chocolate and hovered it near his mouth. "I'm not supposed to eat rubbish like that." Seungkwan went to sit up, but, Vernon sat down on his lap. Back in the hall, Seokmin and Soonyoung were nearly suffocating by trying to stop themselves laughing. 

"I figured your body felt like chocolate." Vernon grinned. Seungkwan rolled his eyes, but, then, his expression fell when Vernon started munching away on it. 

"Is that one of mine?!" Seungkwan exclaimed.

"Maybe." Vernon winked.

"Put some bloody money in the till, you twat, otherwise your banned." Seungkwan scowled.

Soonyoung and Seokmin couldn't help it; they burst out cackling. 

"Why'd I even pass out?" Seungkwan asked.

"We bore - all of us, me, Minnie and Hoshi - witness to this tiny little old lady coming in and asking you for a refund." Vernon explained. "We were just diving to cover her, going "NOOOOOOO!" but then you dropped -" Vernon held up his wrist stiff then let it flop. "- like tht so the poor thing was saved from a verbal duffing-up by you."

Seungkwan paled once again. "Oh my god..." He whispered. He began to break out in a cold sweat and began trembling. It wasn't any sort of remorse or regret over the old lady; it was grim relief that he hadn't had to lose any money, especially not to a tiny little old lady.

All the while, Seokmin and Soonyoung were still nearly pissing themselves laughing.

"Yeah, we came in on our lunch breaks to get some coke and sandwhiches off of you and just as we did there was this old lady in a headscarve waving a tin at you and then you went over sideways. At first we thought she had snotted you a few minutes before and you had a delayed shock or something, but it was just a hit to your wallet you nearly suffered, not your head."

Seungkwan began to sputter and stutter absolute garbage. Vernon got off of his lap, wondering if him been stupid was stopping the blood flow to Seungkwan's brain. 

Soon, the guys were free to leave Seungkwan back to his working day, and, they said they'd come around on the weekend. But, then, Seungkwan worked the weekends as well so it'd just be them hanging out in the restaurant while he committed blind financial robbery upon any of the hipsters, teenagers, elderly, mums and babies, working men and office crowd that came into his shop and restaurant. If Seungkwan let them plug the video-game console into the television in the restaurant it would be a miracle. "That P-3, whatever the cock it is, uses more unjust power than the Yanks did to invade fucking Vietnam!" Seungkwan had spluttered, absolutely purple in the face at a bill he recieved eighteen months ago when he had initally had no problem with Vernon, Seungkwan and Soonyoung purposely killing pedestrians on Grand Theft Auto on the PS-3 they had brought along to Seungkwan's place. 

"You truly are a bloody awful man." Vernon said that Sunday morning when he and Seokmin and Soonyoung turned up at Seungkwan's.

"I know." Something flickered over Seungkwan's features.

"We all know it's that Uncle of yours that made you like this." Vernon affectionately pinched, not too hardly but none too gently, the top of one of Seungkwan's ears. 

"You want to use the kitchen in the restaurant for anything, feel free too." Seungkwan said. "I'll be with you in a second; the old girl crowd usually comes in about half-ten through to half-eleven. See you soon."

"Why don't you just have one day off?" Soonyoung appealed to Seungkwan, touching his hair and his face and his shirt and generally invading his personal space.

Seungkwan squawked like polly the parrot with a red-poker up her clacker. "And miss out on fleecing this beach-side cunts for money? You must be kidding!"

Vernon, Soonyoung and Seokmin nearly killed themselves laughing, becuase, through and through, Seungkwan was absolutely sincere in his schemeing tyranny upon the wallets of gentle souls that parted too easily with their monies.


End file.
